Tuesday, 20 November 2012

An Explanation

I think my last posting may require an explanation. All I can really say is I am struggling, wrestling really. Because if you have not noticed we live in a broken world, and I feel this very strongly, not just around me, but in myself! Which may be the hardest part, knowing that there is more, better, yet still being dragged down by the bitter darkness that I know Jesus has already conquered…

I am frustrated; the post was me kind of screaming… I am in a stormy place, but God is comforting me, with the constant reminders of his love and nearness, but things are still hard, living in between times is hard, the here but not yet kingdom! In my post I was letting out some of my frustration… I thought maybe someone out there could relate, life is not all sunshine and rainbows, but God is still good, all the time! I believe this, I know he is my hope, but often my knowing of the sunshine gets clouded by my feelings...

I am restless because this world is not a place of peace, I feel the brokenness and my soul cries out in frustration! Come Lord Jesus Come! Jesus does give me rest, but I think I am meant to feel and experience this frustration, I am not satisfied, nor should I be, I think I will never be completely at rest or satisfied till he returns...

I do not think any of this is a bad thing; actually I am convinced that this struggle is part of God’s refining process. This does not change how much it hurts, but it gives me hope and a certain sense of peace that I am the clay in the Potter’s hands; it is all going to be OK, actually better than OK it is going to be amazing… divine… holy! PRAISE THE LORD ON HIGH.

Please don't be too concerned, just keep praying for me.

God bless you all. Amen

Sunday, 11 November 2012


Disclaimer: Life is a b!tch and then you die! Yet, God is good all the time, so I will praise His Holy Name for He alone is worthy. Amen.

I need thee, I NEEEEED…
broken, lost, angry, confused, happy, and at peace. I live in a paradox and call it life?
Whose life is this? NO, it can’t be mine… can it?
Full, abundant, and purpose driven.
Not mine.
Empty, abandoned, and mad with envy.
That is who I am.
NO! This just doesn't measure up. WHAT THE F#CK!
God is near,
He is right here, in my heart and my head.
Than how is it that I…
Oh Father, Son, and Holy Ghost please come and rescue this little lost soul, once again,
over and over again.
Like a bad dream. I live life as a single sigh of grief…
NOT SO! Not forever, there is coming a New Day!
I hear the Father whisper into my heart's ear, “hold on tight dear girl…
I am near, I am coming home, I will take you away, I will renew, revive and release,
all will be well with your soul.
Be not in fear anymore for I am with you Maria, till the end of time… and beyond.
You are my girl and I am your Father.
Be loved, by me forever and ever