Just Chill Out

As I sit here waiting, rather impatiently, on the Lord, I hear his gentle voice whispering to me over and over again, “I love you Maria, I love you Maria, I love you…”

He loves me. God loves me. I am loved by the Maker of heaven and earth.

You’d think that be enough? Apparently it’s not, because I keep crying out for something more… more than God’s love!? Really, Maria!? What is wrong with me!?

God’s love is enough for me, it must be, it has to be. The Maker of the universe must be enough for me. Right!?

Then why do I keep desperately seeking love, or something like it, in other places? 

The answer is obvious, we’ve discussed it here before, I am believing a lie. I am believing the enemies first and maybe his greatest lie that God is withholding something from me. I am believing that the “world” has something good to offer me that God can’t or at least won’t. If I’m not full on believing this lie, I am at the very least settling for something that will give me temporary satisfaction, because waiting on the Lord is to hard, I need something right now! Oh what a product of my own culture I am. I can understand intellectually, even experientially, that the ways of the world will not give me long term satisfaction, yet I still give myself over to the passions of the “flesh” because it’s easier and quicker than the slow diligent process of God’s life giving way. Oh help me God!

I know I’m not the only one who is stumbling her way along in this journey we call sanctification. Fess up! Don’t lie to yourself, it’s not going to get you anywhere…

So where do we go from here? I'm “to do list” kind of women, so my temptation is to make us all a “how to get spiritually fit” list, in 10 easy steps or less… but no that’s not what we need. I’m not dismissing the spiritual disciplines, or our human moral effort, no matter how feeble it may be, they have a place, a role in our journey, forsure, without a doubt. But as I sat here this morning, wrestling with God, I kept asking him “what do you want from me!?” and he would gently answer “nothing Maria, I want nothing from you, I only want to be with you.” I thought OK right, great OK so now what? “What do you want me to do? What should I read or write or pray? Come on there’s gotta be something I can dooo!”

Nope. Nothing. There is nothing you or I can do or not do to receive God’s love. He loves us because he made us, because he chose to love us. That’s it.

So God said to me “Maria just sit, be still, and receive my love.”

Ah! Man oh man… so there I sat, squirming in the love of my Father in heaven, he who knows me by name, he who has chosen to love us, that’s right he loves you too, and I think he is probably calling many of us—as I’m confident I’m not the only one who struggles with being still, with receiving his love, with earning and achieving, with to do lists, with resting in him—to come and sit in his presences, to be still with him, to “hear” him whispering in his quiet gentle voice “I love you, I love you, I love you…”

Maybe you could take sometime today, or tomorrow, and sit in the presences of your Father who loves you, he who knows you by name and he who has chosen you to be his beloved child… maybe?

This song was playing as a I started this morning, and it played as I finish writing this…

“Better is One Day”

How lovely is Your dwelling place,

Oh Lord Almighty

My soul longs and even faints for You

For here my heart is satisfied,

within Your presence

I sing beneath the shadow of Your wings

Better is one day in Your courts

Better is one day in Your house

Better is one day in Your courts

Than thousands elsewhere

One thing I ask and I would seek,

to see Your beauty

To find You in the place Your glory dwells

My heart and flesh cry out,

For You the living God

Your spirit's water for my soul

I've tasted and I've seen,

Come once again to me

I will draw near to You

I will draw near to You