I do. In my head, and sometimes in my heart, but mostly I only know that Jesus loves me because the Bible tells me so.
Since coming to this revelation, that I head know God’s love for me but do not heart know, I have been on a journey with God into His love for me, not God so loves the whole world, nope just me, I want to know that I know that I know God so loves Maria.
Something that I read in a book gave me the idea of making a list every day of how I have seen Father God love me. I have not been faithfully make a list every day, but I did post a note beside my mirror saying “how has Father loved you today?” and well brushing my teeth I reflect on my day. I have actually found it quite helpful in recognizing how God is active in my life.
I encourage you to take sometime and make a list of all the ways you have seen God’s love towards you over the past couple weeks. Even if you know that you knoe that you know God loves you, I think it can be a encouraging exercise to recognize specifically how your Father God activily loves you each day.
This is my list:
The day I was leaving Victoria to come back to the DTES I was physically sick with anxiety and heart broken to be leaving my home. Father God carried me back, I really did not want to come back, but He gave me just enough strength to get on to the boat. The last couple days at home I was praying that He would prepare me to leave, on the day I was praying for the courage and joy to return. It was as if He was hugging me the whole way back. Then He loved me through my session mates, when I was back in the DTES, by them welcoming me home with screams, hugs and laughter. As we sat on the couch catching up, He filled me with joy, I was happy to be back.
Last week Thursday I was really wanting sometime in praise. In our allotted time, that did not happen. In the evening after Knee Drill (kind of like church) I asked my session mates if they wanted to come and spend some time praising the Lord, some said no, a couple said “OK, a few songs.” In the end all eight of us gathered in the guys’ room and spent a couple hours praising Jesus and praying for each other. It was beautiful. A couple times I laughed out loud at God’s goodness towards me; it was exactly what my heart needed. I kept crying because I was overwhelmed with the love of my Father.
I find great joy in the sunshine. I also love going for walks outside in the fresh air with the birds singing and the sun shining, it is one way I experience the beauty and warmth of my Father’s love. It is almost as if I can feel God smiling down on me and hear Him singing over me. I do not think Father God created the sunshine just for me, but over the past couple weeks I do think He has provided me with the time to go for walks with Him in the sunshine.
Last week Saturday Father God loved me through my friend. We had not seen each other for over a month. We only had a short time together, but in that time God used her to encourage and challenge me. She is one of Father God’s many gifts to me, and I thank Him for her in my life.
This is just a short list, there is more, there is always more with Father God!
Father God please open my eyes to how you love mw on a daily bases, I want to have a deeper more intimate revelation of your love for me, so that I can be even more transformed into the likeness of your son., also so that I can have a stronger and more secure faith in you. Please. Amen.
I believe I “heard” Father God say to me:
I love you more than… my love is like a rushing wave, all consuming… you are my precious beautiful daughter, I picked you out, I made you to be just as you are, I love you Maria.