This morning Jesus said to me let go, give over to me ALL your sins, sickness, and griefs, so that I can take care of them and you can be set free to live my life.
I ask: what are you holding onto that is getting in the way of Jesus working in and through you?
I am going to be open and honest with you, this is what I wrote down:
Sins - lustful and impure thoughts, anger and bitterness, greed (more, more), pride! fear of man and failure, selfishness ("my time").
I prayed through each one, one by one, giving them to Jesus to deal with, because I am not having very much lasting success in trying to deal with them myself.
I heard Jesus speak specifically to me about my fear, He said that these are crippling me. Jesus said that it is my fear of pride, man and failure that is stopping me from acting in the fullness of the giftings that He has given to me.
This is a sin.
I am letting the enemy win in this area of my life.
This is not a victory that I can have on my own, I need Jesus to win it for me, which He already has, now I need to walk in that freedom.
Oh Jesus please help me. Amen.
Sickness - Dairy allergy, back pain, eye, hearing.
Please heal me Jesus.
I don't want my sickness to get in the way of the good works Jesus has prepared for me.
For example when I am in the Downtown Eastside I will not have the luxury of picking what I eat, I have to eat what is given to me. I don't want my diary allergy to cause me to be in pain and discomfort. I am asking Jesus to please heal me from my diary allergy (for at least my time in the DTES).
For that which Jesus choses not to heal me from, I give them into Jesus' hands and trust that He will take care of them, whatever that looks like, whither that is giving me a roomie that likes to give massages or protecting my eyes from the elements.
Griefs - moving from home, giving up my comforts and moving into discomfort.
At the moment those are the only three "griefs" that I came up with.
Not bad really. Yet I still NEED Jesus to be my strength and joy. I give these griefs to Jesus and trust that He will be strong when I am weak, that He will comfort me when I weep, and that He will fill me with His peace and JOY!
After I went through this process I started to write "every day: spend time…"
about half way through the list (which was actually a very good and useful list) I heard God say "Don't make a relationship with me a formula."
So I crossed the list out, and I am going to trust that God will lead me in what He has for me when I spend time with Him.