I asked Jesus to come into my feeling with his Truth, I asked that by the power of His Holy Spirit that I would be able to give up, give over, surrender all of my heart and mind ...
But Jesus I'm scared, scared that you are going to leave me alone, I'm scared to give up control because I'm scared that you are going to hurt me, that your plan for my life isn't actually good...
I'm angry that this is how I feel, I'm shameful that I don't trust you Jesus, I'm sorry that I screw up over and over again, I'm sorry that I choose my own selfish destructive ways over your life giving ones, even though I "know" better!
In the chaos of my feelings these words from the song playing caught my attention...
"I'm restless until I rest in you..."
OK so how do I rest in you!?
"Still my heart (yes please Lord) hold me close (yes please Jesus) let me hear your still quiet voice (oh Father God please)"
As I sat here letting that prayer wash over, the Lord pressed upon me that the primary tactic of the enemy in my life at the moment (and possibly yours too) is to keep me busy busy busy, so that I'm distracted from hearing, seeing, and receiving the Truth of God's love which has the power to transform my life, if only I could receive it!
The Lord pressed upon me that this is a life or death battle for my heart and mind, that being busy and distracted is a big deal! It's not just the way things are, but that I need to understand that by being busy busy busy I'm not receiving his life giving love, I'm not living the full and abundant life that Jesus came, died, and rose from the grave to give us. When I don't take this seriously I'm letting the enemy come and rob, steal, and destroy my life!
This isn't OK! I'm not OK with this! Are you!? For real! I encourage you to ask the Lord to reveal to you how the enemy is at work in your life. Because this is war!
But have hope and be filled with courage for He has already won the war and He has made you and I more than conquers! Praise be to the King of kings the Lord Jesus Christ for He is truly mighty to save! Amen!