Do you ever loss sight of who you are? Do you forget where your value and worth comes from?
During this time of year a lot of us are making New Years Resolution, thinking of ways to self-improve, to better ourselves, to make ourselves more worthy and of greater value. OK maybe it’s not quite all that cynical… buuut maybe underneath all the good intentions there lies a heart of pride and legalism?
I’ve already written a blog on New Years resolutions, I make them, I love self-help books… I’ll loss weight and think look at me! I’m in control of my own body, then I’ll gain all the weight back, and some, and I’ll think I’m crap! This is kind of how it goes, a continual loop of high peaks and low valleys of self-confidence, up and down, backwards and forwards, over and over again…
I’ve also already written on self-confidence verses God-confidence, and our desperate need to have God-confidence (finding our confidence in Him rather then ourselves). This blog is not about New Years resolutions nor self-confidence, well at least not mainly…
OK then get to the point!
This morning as I was journaling to the Lord, I was reflecting on how it hurts when someone has gotten to know me, yet they still don’t seem to find me worthy of friendship, this is one of my greatest hurts, someone not seeing me as worthy.
Before I had time to wallow in self-pity the Lord asked me “Maria where is your value found?”
This is a question He has asked me many times before, so His Truth quickly flooded my heart…
“My value comes from the fact that I am loved by the Living God, the Creator of heaven and earth, the same God as Abraham, Isaac and Jacob…”
Even as I tried to let His truth wash over me, I couldn't shake the feelings of rejection, feelings of being just plain crap!
I asked my Father, “Why can’t I seem to shake this?”
“Because Maria you are desperate. Desperate to be loved, to be liked, to be wanted. You are hungry for attention, for affection…”
OK I know this already, I’ve also written numerous blogs on the topic…
So what!? What do I do with this? Where do I go from here?
Then he whispered “I am your Healer.”
That’s it, that’s where we go from here. To Him!
I’ve quoted this before and I’ll say it again (because I need to hear it over and over)
“Let’s us fix our eyes upon Jesus the Author and Perfector of our faith” (Heb. 12:2)
Put down the self-help book, go ahead make those New Years resolutions but just don’t put to much faith in them, don’t bother trying to find you worth or value in yourself because you will fail yourself over and over again…
INSTEAD turn to Him who loves you, who created you, who knows you better then you know yourself, and let Him heal you, let Him just hold you, let His truth wash over you, renewing and transforming you.
Take your eyes off yourself, stop dwelling on the lies!
INSTEAD open the Word of God and read it, mediate on it, pray it, lift your voice up to Him in praises and thanksgiving, being reminded of who He is, and therefore who we are in Him!
Father God, this is my prayer for 2015, may you heal us of the many lies of who we are that we are believing, please by the power of your Spirit, renew our minds and hearts, transforming us so that we can walk with your Spirit, living the full and abundant life that Jesus came to give us! Amen!